Monday, 2 March 2015

R.I.P. B.B.

for the 22nd February 2015

B.B. sleeping on a hot afternoon 2014/15

it's been a week & one day since i buried my little friend, she went downhill extremely fast late saturday arvo, & i knew her time had come to leave me/us. by 8pm she was down & never got up again, her breathing shallow & her eyes had glazed over but she kept breathing, & really thought she would pass any minute, i was teary eyed by this time. between 10 & 10:30pm she was throwing up blood & passing it at the other end too. rang the vets but there was nothing they could do, they couldn't get here, (gympie was cut off) she said it sounded like she was hemorrhaging & to make her comfortable, as that was all i could do, i was a mess, am thankful vets are so understanding, she spoke to me for over half an hour. 
i cleaned up some of the mess though i was having trouble seeing, put a towel over her as she had started shivering, it was like she had already gone in spirit but her body was hanging on, so i went & showered, then checked her & went to bed & cried myself to sleep.
when i woke i seemed to be still crying, was feeling so heavy, went out to check on B.B. & hoped she had passed away & she had, must've been soon after i went to bed. i sobbed, spent longer than i needed on the loo, as i was crying so hard even the old man came in meowing his compassion to me, which was so unlike him, made me cry even more. 
i was a total wreck, fed the cats then went out to start digging a hole, thought it might be nice to bury her next to Teddy, who we lost some years ago to snake bite, she mourned him every year. 
the damned hole kept filling up with water, tried several times to dig it out but it kept filling up, that had me sobbing hard all over again.
my daughter rang me, (had sent a text to the kids letting them know she had passed away earlier) i was sobbing, it was hard to hide as i was on my way inside, she made me promise to ring a friend to help dig the hole, i didn't want to as have had him help with all the dogs here but had to admit to myself i just couldn't do it on my own, probably take me a month of sundays & in the meantime poor B.B. would be decomposing in my lounge room! so, i did ring him & he came over, he bought the 2 young chooks i bought off him over as well, we put them down in the chook shed in the cage i had set up for them, silver lace wyandottes(will post about them later). then i found a spot on the western side where my row of trees are, had lost a tree there & the hole didn't fill up with water. he had a crowbar so that made it a lot quicker to dig. 
i said my goodbyes again, (cried) wrapped her up in her old towel mats, then we buried her. 
i decided to put a jacaranda on her. then we came inside & i made a pot of tea.

  R.I.P.  B.B. 15yrs old    2000 - 22/2/2015

so, have been very sad this past week, barely been on the computer, my eyes are sore & dry from so much crying but i think i'm OKAY now, still get a little teary even though there isn't any tears anymore. 

have been knitting most of the week, it seems so soothing, have almost completed the sleeves on my daughters cardigan, it will be finished soon.

hope everyone had a good weekend

thanx for visiting


  1. Selina - the passing of faithful animals is so hard. As an on-line friend I am feeling the pain with you and send my sympathy - hope your tears slowly but surely turn into lovely memories. I am sure your other on-line friends could say it so much better than me. I hope that Jacaranda flourishes as a testament to a beautiful pet.

  2. Oh Selina, such a sad time for you. I was upset reading what you had to go through on your own - how strong you are.

    In time you will be able to think of BB and not feel like you are falling apart - it will probably be when the jacaranda sprouts its first set of new leaves and you know that BB is happily on his way.

  3. Selina, how hard for you to be there by yourself when BB was passing. And to be cut off from the vets at the same time - I don't even know what to write, but please know my thoughts are with you. Hugs.

  4. It is so hard to lose our pets. So sorry you are going through this hard time. Just want to send you a (((hug)))

  5. How sad it is to hear of your dear BB passing. She looks so much like our dog Ivy that we had. She went missing and was never found... while we were at the hospital with my daughter after she was diagnosed. I pray that you feel better as the healing of your heart takes place, for it is a deep wound.

  6. thank you all so much, your kind words mean so much to me, that now i'm speechless & all teary again, it was hard on my own, i felt so lonely & helpless. thankyou xxx

  7. So very sad for you and being on your own is never easy at these times. A tree is a great way to remember a loved pet.

  8. Selina, I missed this post. I am so sorry to hear about you losing your beloved BB. I remember when I was a child how upset I always was when our dogs passed away. I would cry and cry for days. They are such understanding friends and it must have been so hard for you on your own. Big hugs!

  9. Selina I have just popped back to say hello and that I am thinking of you.

  10. Oh Selina I'm so, so deeply sorry that you both had to go through this. I hope you can remember the great times you spent together and you were with her til the end. It's such a loss when one of our special animal friends leaves us. Sending you a hug xxx